Monday, June 11, 2012

Tell This Dog to Shut Up!

This is Kitty, or as I preferred to be called.... Ms. Kitty.

For those that don't know me, which I guess would be ALL of you because for some reason they gave this stupid dog the rights to write a blog and not me, I AM the Queen of this house!!!. Rubi, or "Queen Dumbass" as she calls herself, is obviously not that bright. She's a bit slow. She waits for me to toss food on the floor to her because she's too stupid to see she has a bowl full of her own noms in front of her. She barks at the wind, the rabits and when she toots. She eats my "litter box presents." And, well...she's really just a dumbass. We know that cats are way smarter than dogs. Well, she makes even Garfield look like a genius!

I thought I'd take a minute to say hello and to also ask if you have any idea where they sent that big doofy dog. Grady, I think was his name??? He was ok. He intimidated me but only because it was way obvious that he was much smarter than that other dumbass dog, so you never knew what he had up his paw. I only ask if you know where he is so that maybe I can send Rubi there? She needs to go!!! We got rid of one and if we can just toss her to the curb, I can finally have my house back.
I know he's gotta be out there, somewhere! Grady, come back!!! Let's boot this Dumbass together!!

On a serious note, I will say that I miss that smart dog. He listened when the "hooman beans" (will someone please tell the Dumbass that it's HUMAN BEANS?!?!) told him to stop chasing me. He would never get in my face and breathe his doo-doo breath on me like Rubi does.....everyday! He acted like he wanted to chase me sometimes, but he never did. He also would help me catch the flies that the Dumbass and the Beans would let in the house at night. I kinda miss that. I guess him and I could have really been a good team and maybe taught that "Dumbass" a thing or two. We all know that cats are the highest form of intellegent animals on the entire face of the earth. And with my book smarts, and Grady's street smarts...... we coulda sent Rubi out for cookies, locked the door behind her and waved as we snuggled up next to the HUMANS while she sniffed her butt on someone else's doorstep.
HaHa! Hi, stupid! You're out there! I'm in here! Neener Neener Neener!

Anyway, if any of you figure out where they sent that smart dog, please send me a personal note to:
Ms Kitty's Korner
c/o Queen Dumbass's blog cuz she won't know the difference anyway
PO Litter Box 2376
Meowville, State of Confusion, OU812

I'd really like to send this doe-doe bird there, so please....only those with true, real information respond. This is a matter of claiming back my territory which was mine waaaaayyyyy before that Rubi thingamajig came around.
This is MY house. Get out!
Kindest Regards,
QUEEN Ms Kitty

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